Today’s Weigh-In

scale makes you cry

My previous posts, I put directly only facebook, so you might have to look at my facebook page to catch up.

Here’s a recap…  End of Sept (I think it was 9/28)  I weighed myself and saw my weight loss was at 99 pounds.  Up until then, I could still say I maintained a 100 pound weight loss.  But when I saw it at 99 pounds, I got scared and mad.  I got mad at the devil.  I didn’t want to let him punk me out.  Something on the inside rose inside of me and declared – I’m not going out like that…  I am not going back to weighing over 300 pounds.  I am not going back to that life of misery only to add  shame to it.

I had been through weeks of eating peanut butter sandwiches and going back to get more peanut butter.  Eating different types of chips and not being able to stop myself from going back.  Eating white rice, straight out the pot for no reason.  Yes, I could still say I haven’t eaten sweets… but carbs were definitely getting the best of me.

Well, I got some help.  I asked someone to help me get back on track and with the accountability I was able to do so.  I was back to no flour, no sugar, and having 3 planned measured meals per day.

Week one I was ecstatic — I lost 8 pounds!!!  YAYYY.   Week two was encouraging — I lost 3 pounds YAYYYY.   Week 3’s weigh day found me on my cycle and bloated with hot flashes and I gained 2 pounds even though I was sticking to my food plan.  but I kept on track for the next week. And gratefully week 4 I lost 3 pounds. YES!!!  Okay, let me keep going.    I also tried to measure myself.  Never did that before, I’m certain I’m not doing it correctly because numbers were changing by the seconds…  hmmmm

So, here we are on week 5.  I stayed on track with my food plan.  And guess what…  I didn’t lose any weight.  Didn’t lose one single pound. YUK!!!!  I was disappointed.  I wanted to go into a pity party about all the food I didn’t eat… BUT I am so grateful, that LACK OF AMNESIA was stronger.  That’s right.  I don’t have amnesia of the nights that I wanted to stop eatting but couldn’t stop myself from getting more chips, or getting another spoonful of peanut butter.  I don’t have amnesia about hearing my son complain about eatting all of his bread, so now he doesn’t have anything left to make a sandwich.   It is those memories, that allowed me to throw the invitation to the pity party away, and re-look at how and what I ate last week.

I stuck to my food plan, but my meal times were off on many days.  There were some days I was eating dinner after 8:30 and one day as late as 9:15.  That’s the goal this week; dinner meal before 6:30pm – Ideally by 6pm.  Also, I’ve not exercised yet.  This week, I will at least look into joining a gym.  But for now, I will focus on the TIME of my evening meal.

3 measured meals, no flour, no sugar — that is still my story and I’m still stickin’ to it!


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